Midnight Surprise
by pumpkaboo
Summary: Archie visits Maxie but gets a little (unwanted) surprise instead. Hardenshipping. Please be aware the 'f' bomb is dropped & some sexual references.


Archie walked up his boyfriends' apartment. He was keen for a midnight rendezvous, even though Maxie rarely ever was. Maybe tonight would be different.

He unlocked the door and slunk in, feeling like some sort of sexy spy. He walked down to the bedroom and quietly opened the door.

He walked over to the bed and kissed Maxie's cheek. Maxie didn't stir, so he ran his fingers though Maxie's hair. Except Maxie's hair was really short and bouncy. Maxie wouldn't cut his hair that short, would he? Surely not.

He frowned and reached for the bedside lamp. He turned it on and screamed.

Courtney also screamed. "Ahh! What the fuck Archie?!"

"What have you done to Maxie?" he asked, scandalized.

"Nothing you fucking idiot. Holy shit you scared me" she gasped. "By the way, you smell disgusting."

Archie frowned, his feelings hurt, left the room. Jeez Courtney was mean. Then again he had just kissed her and ran his fingers through her hair. He shuddered. Gross.

He walked over to the lounge, not seeing Maxie there. He walked back to the study and opened the door. He walked straight into a bedframe. "Oh fuck" he groaned, grabbing his shin. "Why?" he whimpered.

The bedside lamp suddenly turned on. "Archie?" Maxie croaked, dark circles under his eyes. "What are you-?"

"You didn't tell me Courtney moved in."

"Did I really have to? I mean, it's not like you live here."

"I visit you often enough. Why the fuck is there a bed in here? More importantly how did you get it to fit?"

"Oh, well, Courtney needed a place to stay, so I offered her the couch or a blow up mattress in here but she declined and said she wanted my room. So I said she had to neatly move my stuff in here. Took her a whole day" he shrugged. "I am content. For board she cooks so I rarely need to leave my room now. I can get more work done. Although it is apparently bad Feng Shui. If you're into that kinda thing. Anyway, come here" he smiled, patting the side of the bed.

Archie climbed over the bedframe onto the mattress. "Uh… I don't smell, do I?"

Maxie looked at him weirdly. "You smell no different than usual. Why ask now?"

"Is it bad?"

"You smell like the ocean" he shrugged. "By the way you should apologize to me for waking me up. I haven't slept in two days and I had only just fallen asleep."

"Sorry babe." He lay down.

Maxie turned off the lamp and curled up next to Archie. "Wait… did you just say you saw Courtney?"

"Yeah. Thought she was you. I mean, she was in your room."

Maxie sniggered. "I don't even want to know what went on."

Archie's cheeks lit up. "Good, cause I ain't sharing."

"Courtney will tell me."

"No, please don't ask her" Archie pleaded.

"What _did_ you two get up to?" he asked, obviously even more curious because of Archie's response.

"Just… kissed her cheek, but I thought she was you."

Maxie chuckled. "Idiot."

"You didn't tell me."

"Wasn't she obviously not me?"

"Now she is." He cuddled up to Maxie. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, you probably scared the shit out of Courtney" Maxie sighed.

"I'll apologize to her in the morning."

"I'm sure she'll be right." Maxie rubbed his temples. "I need sleep" he yawned. "I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Okay" Archie nodded, feeling inwardly disappointed at how his 'rendezvous' turned out.

…

The next morning Courtney couldn't even look at Archie. She didn't make breakfast for Maxie, instead she went in to see him in his room.

"I am moving back home" she said, her eyes narrowing at Archie. "I don't feel safe here."

Maxie, who had just woken up rubbed his eyes. "What?"

"I am happy to continue helping you out with research, but I am not happy living with you. I will have everything moved out by midday."

True to her word everything she owned was moved out and she was gone.

"Thanks a lot Archie" Maxie sighed. "Now I will have to live off Chinese takeaway again."

"My problem is this tiny room you're holed up in."

Maxie's eyes grew wide, realising that he had all his stuff stuck in the study still. "Damn it."

Archie chuckled.

He looked at Archie. "Well, if you ever want to be allowed back in here, you will have to move all my furniture back."

Archie groaned. "Really?"

Maxie nodded. "Yes."

Archie really wasn't a fan of moving furniture. "Well, uh, I can't do it today. Gotta get back to the base, y'know."

Maxie raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

Archie nodded. "Yep."

"Okay."

"See you later." He kissed Maxie's cheek and rushed out, pulling his shirt on as he ran out the door.

…

A few nights after the 'Courtney incident', Archie returned to Maxie's apartment for a midnight rendezvous. Definitely the best kind of rendezvous. When Courtney wasn't around that was.

He walked up to the door, grabbing his keycard from his pocket and put it to the lock. He frowned when the door didn't open. He checked the room number. He was definitely at the right room. He went to unlock the door again. Still wouldn't register.

He pressed the intercom. "Hey Maxie" he said as sexily as he could while trying not to sound pissed off. "You wanna tell me what's goin' on?"

"Archie what the hell? It's after one-"

"Did you lock me out?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You know why."

Archie frowned. He couldn't think of one reason why Maxie would lock him out. "Was this because of the Courtney thing?"

"No, but I guess it is related to the Courtney incident."

Archie wracked his brains, coming up with nothing.

Then it hit him.

"Is this really because I didn't want to move your furniture?"

"Yes."

"Dammit I swear to Groudon-"

"How dare you say that in my presence!" Maxie's shrill voice rang out.

"Let me in and you can yell at me to my face you lil torchic."

The door buzzed open. He smirked to himself, opening the door and walking straight into a pissed off looking Maxie.

"Maxie-"

Maxie pushed him against the wall, kissing him.

Archie was surprised, but he wasn't going to debate it.

Maxie pulled away, breaking their spit string. "I don't want you to curse Groudon, and I sure as hell never want to hear you call me a torchic ever again. Now that you're here, we can move to the bedroom."

"Dammit, so I still have to move your furniture?"

"No, I moved it back. You jerk."

Maxie led the extremely keen for some love Archie back to the bedroom. Maxie climbed back in, rolling to the center of the bed.

Archie climbed in and scooted close to Maxie, kissing him.

"Shh" Maxie hushed.

Archie frowned. "What-?"

Maxie pointed over his shoulder at a sleeping figure next to him. "Living back home didn't work out for her."

Archie groaned.

"It's temporary" Maxie defended.

Archie faced the other way. This was the worst case of blue balls ever.

…

"Oh dammit Maxie, don't tell me you two did the do while I was in here?" Courtney said, possibly feeling more scandalized than when Archie had kissed her.

"My goodness no" Maxie said. "Your presence had the opposite effect."

"Excellent" she chuckled.

Archie groaned. "I hope her living here and sleeping in your bed isn't permanent."

"Archie, she needs a place to stay. How could you want to kick her out?"

Courtney smiled rather smugly.

Archie knew she was going to take her sweet time with this.

"I am looking for a place" she smiled cutely.

Maxie looked at Archie. "See?"

Archie was not buying it. Especially when Courtney poked her tongue out at him as soon as Maxie looked away.

No more rendezvous for a while, he sighed.


End file.
